“It’s just so strange.
You used to love me,
and now you’re a stranger
who happens to know all
of my secrets.”
Clementine von Radics (via itskiddo)
I buy all your favorite foods so I will be ready when you come home
because once I did this and you said “This is how I know you love
I go on long walks alone and think about a poem my friend wrote
that goes ”This is how you die by distance.”
I hum the sound of the dial tone under my breath.
I stare at my hands and wonder at their uses. I consider pawning
my thighs. I consider auctioning off my hip bones. I put my breasts in
a box on the top shelf of the closet. I do not need them now.
I think of all the things I have to tell you when I will see you.
I just found out pumpkins are technically fruits
Cary Grant’s first job was in a traveling circus
Most mammals are born able to walk and learn to run within minutes, so we are not crazy for moving so fast.
This morning I wrote your name in the steam on my mirror, even though I knew it would fade within minutes
In my best notebook I wrote “I miss you” ten thousand times.
I wrote “I think I am missing one of my ribs”
I wrote “I envy the way leaves know exactly when to fall from the branches and when to come back in the spring”
I wrote “Everyone else isn’t you. It turns out that’s a huge problem for me.”
-Things I Do When I Cannot Hold You, Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)
“Everyone else isn’t you. It turns out that’s a huge problem for me.”
Clementine von Radics, excerpt from “Things I Do When I Cannot Hold You” (via larmoyante)
“He never broke my heart. He only turned it into a compass that always points me back to him.”
Clementine von Radics (via opalinear)
“Here is what I know:
You drink your coffee black and we are afraid of each other.
Once you kissed my neck in front of your friends
and it made me very shy.
Once you kissed my stomach and I started crying.
I see the tender way you touch things and want to kiss your nose
but I keep my mouth to myself.
Your collarbones are craters big enough to fit my fist into.
You are the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in months.
I was not good to the last person I loved so I punished my heart
(I let it break and bleed out then roughly sewed it back together)
It is hard to write poems when I only know how to fuck you.
I am always trying. I am thinking of Somedays. I am saying goodbye.
You asked why I never write anything honest so I am writing you this.”
Clementine von Radics (via hushedsweetnothings)
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“We are not in love. Not the way I’ve been told
being in love feels like. But we have been sleeping
beside each other for so many nights and I
am the most beautiful doormat you have ever
Clementine von Radics, This Is How We Lose Ourselves (via larmoyante)